The Day We Went Away

“It is going to be a really long day tomorrow,” I warned. “We will be taking in lots of new information. I just went to IGA and have loads of snacks for us all to keep us going,” I messaged the night before in our work group chat. “We’ll meet at the office for coffee then jump in an Uber.”

“It’s just so good to get out of Leederville,” Kerry gushed as we arrived, all filled with the wonder of a cohort who had just landed in Paris for the first time, not Perth. That’s right. Some of the team and I had a conference to attend for the day a mere 4kms away, and we were pumped. The stationery cupboard was raided and I even broke open a new highlighter pack, such was my level of confidence that the speaker would be a wealth of information.

The house lights went down and the loud, emotive music went up.

“Turn to the person next to you and say, ‘I am committed,’” he said.

What was happening? Had I accidentally returned to my old Pentecostal church?

By 10am, we were across the speaker’s list of accomplishments and had learned he’d been on many international trips with his wife and kids: cue 300 images on the screen.

“When the hell is he going to get on with it?” I whispered to Haylee, who shares my low tolerance for wasting time.

He finally warmed up and started dishing out a few scraps of substance. We all furiously took notes.

After the break, we returned for the second session. The sales pitch arrived right on cue. Based on his body language, the man on my left was all in. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see him pull out his credit card.

We were messaging each other in the group chat as we all sat in a row. Tim even chimed in from Japan. A couple of us got the giggles.

“You guys are welcome to stay, but I can’t handle this,” I said.

I walked out. I was almost at the door when I realised the team were following behind me, single file. Bags still heavy with snacks. Feeling like the rebellious group in high school wagging class.

Naturally, a consolatory team debrief and lunch back to the safety of The Garden in Leederville was the least I could do after the dud steer. “This is the business coaching scheme that did the rounds 10 years ago, but repackaged on AI for 2026,” said Smith as he bit into his steak sandwich.

“How is anyone falling for that crap?” added someone whose name rhymes with Bonna.

We started doing impressions of the guy and repeating quotes, and we laughed until people stared and our sides ached.

Tim and Ash were not there, and they are usually the comedians on the team. It suddenly occurred to me: this team combination had never been on a project together before. This was the first time we had broken bread and cracked up. 

We now needed to catch up on real work. And we did not even learn what we expected.

But we did learn that as a team, we already know more than we think. We are discerning. We are aligned. And we had just formed a shared experience and a new memory.

Actually, I decided. In the life of the company, this was a most excellent day.